My ex really effed me up?

WARNING: a lot of reading. My ex and I went out for about 2 years and in the course of one week in that span, we went from grab *** to . (she hopelessly attempted s but failed miserably so I just told her not too) Anyway, I fingered her 2+ times a week for our last 2 months. She then broke up w/ me for unknown reasons and went out w/ a friend of mine a week l8r. I got pissed at that becuz she was reboundig big time, he was my friend who tried to comfort me when she dumped me, and she was a horrible ***** at times and I was like the best bf ever, so I told her off. She got me too apologize, but only so she could tell me off off gaurd. I haven't spoken to her since May, but I haven't gotten ovr her. Flashbacks to her at a red line station, after I traveled for ovr a half hour, as she moaned wildly, the dates, phone calls, nicknames, letters, dances, etc. It all comes to me randomly and deppresses me. I would mstrbte to when she came up because that made me care less about her, but dirty flashbacks of us appear as I do that now and just deppresses me further. She was also the hottest girl I've seen and all my friends have seen (constantly reminded). I'm in for a busy honors/AP year, she's got new bf, and she pissed me off a sh!tload in our relationship, so I don't think I should chase after her. I'm significantly addicted to mstrbation now, deppressed, I'll get bursts of rage and may take it out on someone (not violently). We both take redline, so I will most likely see her this upcoming year and idk what to say if anything. I'm less of a wreck then I was way back, but still jacked up. Watcha got for me?